Emotional Intelligence on Display in Oscar Winning Films (2024)

“I’m not emotionally intelligent AT ALL!”

I’ve had so many people say this to me. Which is sad because this declaration really doesn’t make much sense. Contrary to popular belief emotional intelligence (EI) is not a blob of generic people skills that warm and fluffy people have and cold, hard people lack.

According to Daniel Goleman, author, psychologist, and science journalist, emotional intelligence is comprised of a set of five competencies.

  • Self-awareness
  • Self motivation
  • Self-regulation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

All of us will have some strengths within the five competencies and some weaknesses. So very, very few of us can claim to be completely lacking in emotional intelligence!

This year we have seen great examples of EI competencies at work in Oscar winning films. These movies successfully bring to life what great EI competence looks like and what can happen if we lack EI ability. As I type this, the Internet is buzzing with news of the Oscars. With that in mind, here are three excellent examples of emotional intelligence at work in films which have scooped coveted golden statues.

Birdman
(Winner of Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Best Cinematography)

Which emotional intelligence competencies are on display?
In Birdman we see low levels of self-awareness as a once famous Hollywood actor, Riggan, struggles to regain the fame of his glory days by staging a Broadway play.

Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the understanding of our moods, emotions and drivers as well as their impact on others. One of the hallmarks of a person with high self-awareness is the ability to distinguish specific emotions. A person with high self-awareness will be able to say “I feel irritated” rather than “I feel bad.”

This is a skill that Riggan seems to lack. For example it’s clear that he can’t tell the difference between love and admiration. His ex-wife explicitly spells this out to him, which seems to explain how Riggan could sacrifice the love of his wife and daughter in pursuit of the admiration of strangers. But for Riggan these two emotions are confused and probably interchangeable. He also is confused about his drivers and motivations. His daughter tells him: "You are not doing this for the sake of art, you are doing it to be relevant again.".

One of the more quirky elements of the film (in a film which is pretty darn quirky) is that Riggan hears the voice of “Birdman” in his head. The voice criticises and torments him and gives him truly awful advice. Sound familiar? Whilst you’ve probably never had the voice of a comic-book character bouncing around your brain, we all have an internal voice that can nag, stress and depress us if we don’t take control of it.

What do we learn about emotional intelligence?
Self-awareness is the bedrock of personal development. In fact it's hard, if not impossible, to fine-tune your other EI competencies if you lack self-awareness.

Riggan is totally confused by what he wants. He’s right on the edge of breakdown and he doesn’t know what it will take to pull himself safely away from the verge. By pinpointing exactly how we feel and knowing what drives us we can take greater responsibility and control of our lives, making smart and sensible decisions.

In Birdman we’re left wondering is the stress and anxiety in Riggan’s life causing the voice in his head to grow louder and more persistent? Or is the voice in his head causing the stress and anxiety? It’s probably hard to call but one thing is for sure; whilst Riggan can’t control all of the external circumstances in his life, he can do something about the negative thought patterns he has fallen into.

Whiplash
(Winner of Supporting Actor, Film Editing, Best Sound Mixing)

Which emotional intelligence competencies are on display?
The film centres on a character called Andy who is a new student at the best music conservatoire in the US. Andy has sky-high self-motivation and not so high social skills. He wants to be the greatest jazz drummer since his drumming hero Buddy Rich. He also wants to win the respect of his bandleader Fletcher whose training technique is basically psychological warfare.

Self-Motivation
Andy is single-minded in his desire to get to the top. The more Fletcher bullies and abuses him, the harder he works. The film presents us with several Rocky-esque training montages where we see him practise until his hands are bleeding onto his drum kit. He even moves his bed out of his bedroom to make space for his drums. Now we all know how much students love their beds. He’s clearly a man on a mission.

To demonstrate how much he’s put the rest of his life on hold, we even see Andy break up with the girl he’d started dating earlier in the film. In flat and rehearsed tones he tells her that if they keep dating she’ll end up distracting him from his goal, which is the last thing that he would want.

Does it work? In a manner it does. In the final scene he is able to dupe Fletch and show the big hitters of the jazz world that he is a phenomenal musician. This is all very well and good, except Andy has no one left in his corner but his good old Dad. Andy has successfully alienated himself from everybody else around him which means his victory in defeating Fletcher seems a little empty.

Social Skills
Throughout Whiplash we see Andy clumsily stomping his way through social situations. Social skills are all about building networks and rapport. Andy doesn’t do any building where his relationships are concerned. If anything he demolishes them. Watching interactions with his family and girlfriend is like watching a wrecking ball wreak devastation.

For example Andy ruins a family dinner by cruelly belittling the sporting achievements of his cousin after his family show little interest in his drumming progress. The whole family is angry at his behaviour yet Andy feels no remorse at the way he acted towards his cousin. At other times in the film he is totally rude towards his fellow students. Not surprisingly he doesn’t appear to have a single friend.

The interesting thing about Andy’s lack of social skill is that his rudeness and aggression doesn’t seem to be driven by spite. Rather it’s driven by a complete obsession to be the best.

What do we learn about emotional intelligence?
For me Whiplash teaches us about balance. Self-motivation is great, but relationships are essential for us to be successful and fulfilled. Something young Andy has yet to learn. Self-awareness can be the answer here. We need to self reflect and seek feedback from others in order to build a full picture of our own emotional skill set so that our EI competencies can work together in harmony.

Boyhood
(Winner of Best Supporting Actress)

Which emotional intelligence competencies are on display?
Filmed over 12 years Boyhood follows Mason Junior as he grows up. Although the film focuses on Mason, it was his father (Mason Senior) who interested me from an emotional intelligence point of view. From early on the in the film we’re led to believe that he has pretty low self-regulation. He’s a wayward father who abandoned his wife and kids. Then as the film develops we see him mature and he starts demonstrating really quite high empathy.

Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is the ability to control your emotions, not allowing yourself to be a slave to your every whim and impulse. People with high emotional regulation are able to do things that they find tough. They can deal with challenges and changing circumstances even if there’s a degree of unpleasantness involved.

We learn at the beginning of the film that Mason Senior has been an absent father. It’s mentioned that the children haven’t seen their dad for a year and a half and they miss him desperately. He has been living in Alaska whilst his ex-wife struggles to work, study and be a single parent in Texas. Mason’s excuse is that he had to go to Alaska to "find himself". In other words, Mason Senior had children young, got scared and ran away to play his guitar in the most northern state in the US. Even though Mason Senior knew that leaving his family was a cruel and unfair thing to do he selfishly indulged his own emotions.

Empathy
Mason Senior then returns to Texas and starts to actively build a relationship with his kids. As he does this we start to see that he’s more than just a guy who runs away from his responsibilities.

He seems to particularly possess a high level of empathy. For example Mason Junior develops an interest in girls and he is able to empathise with Mason Junior and his struggle to chat to girls on the phone. He advises Mason Junior to “Ask loads of questions and be interested.”. He not only demonstrates empathy but he tells his son how to demonstrate empathy!

What do we learn about emotional intelligence?
Our emotional intelligence isn’t a fixed! Our circumstances, mind-set, relationships and whole load of other things can change our level of EI competence! So wherever you are at now, you can work on yourself and develop just like Mason Senior does in Boyhood.

Emotional Intelligence on Display in Oscar Winning Films (2024)
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